it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize