Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
