He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I pour the whiskey from now on
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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