is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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