just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
