hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
