I wish I could teleport
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
