why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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