My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
