I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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