have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize