Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
