I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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