used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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