I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
