She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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