I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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