I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
