return my video game
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize