I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
