To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
