You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
