I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
