Nicole vs. Life
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
