Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
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