My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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