All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
