Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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