So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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