are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
