Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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