Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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