i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
