I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
