I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
