yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
