worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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