You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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