I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
