My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
