I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
