yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
