i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
