My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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