You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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