Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
