you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize