I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
