Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
