My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
