I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
