You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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