i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
