We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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