Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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