I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
