you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Let's get the cat blown out
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
