break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Randomize
