Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
