We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
