My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
