nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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