im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
