Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
