I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My pussy is not your playground.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
