It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
