one might say we're banned from that church
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
