dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize