If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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