Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize