Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
