WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
